I am Blue

I found the note that you left me
Words that scraped their way through my heart with the sharpness of a knife
Did you mean to cut my sanity in two?
I wonder how it feels for you
Safe in your security
Safe in my lack of it
The knowledge that you can
And I won't.

You smile through lies
With the ease of a wolf dressed as a lamb
Knowing your identity is safe
Knowing your prey is unsuspecting
Naive and vulnerable
I, the almost wife
You would spy on my broken life?

My pain never meant that much
It just got in your way
How does it feel, being the betrayer?
I wonder
Did you feel guilt when you stole through my house
Dragging lies and deception across my floors
Leaving a fog of misconception in your wake?
I felt you
Logic said no
My gut said yes
A written word gave you away
Did you intend for me to find it?
Did you think I wouldn't put together the puzzle pieces?
The pen?
The missing tag?

Games.

Yes, it was intended
Yes, you knew.
You toy with my emotions like a cat with a mouse
But
I dare not squeak
It would only incite more of the same macabre playfulness
AND
I am no longer fearful.
I am watching you out of my eye's corner
Biding my time
Waiting for the moment when you look away
Just for a split second
And I WILL take advantage of that.
You may think you took my power
It fed your weakness for a while
I can't deny
You almost swallowed me
But you left the most important part for last
A fatal error
You weren't to know
You don't have it to recognise its importance
You forgot to disarm my dignity and my self-respect.
A stupid mistake
But understandable, given your weakened mind
Your self-assured arrogance
Your belief in your own lies.
Oh yes, your biggest mistake of all?

You forgot.

I am Blue.