Sexism, racism...musicism?

*Names and places have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

I received an email on the 23rd of October from a booking agency looking to book me and a musician for a function at a restaurant we'll call *Yomos. I sent through the quote and, much to my surprise, they mailed back confirming the booking. The reason I was surprised is because the venue is known for a specific type of music... and it wasn't the type of music I was being asked for. They wanted a background band doing 3x45 min sets of mostly commercial covers from the 60's, 70's and 80's. Fun... Nonetheless, it's a gig so I called up *Andrea, a brilliant guitarist, and booked her.

There were many back and forth emails between myself and the agency, who we'll call *SoundCru. I like to be thorough when doing a booking. I made sure the sound was organised, the repertoire was sorted, the length of sets was determined and, after many emails requesting it, I finally got an itinerary for the evening. I noticed that they only had me down to perform twice during the function, otherwise the itinerary said "background music" I was a bit confused because I had been told WE were background music but now I had just discovered that we were actually doing a SHOW. This was the day before the function so I was a bit panicky. I emailed back to query it and was told that he "guesses the client made a mistake because it's actually 3x45 min sets and it is background music" I doubt that he checked up on it judging from what transpired but anyway, I told him that's fine because that's what I prepared for.

Show day arrived and Andrea and I were there at 3.30pm on the dot for setup and soundcheck. We're mid setup when 3 people come scurrying over to us with frowns on their faces. No, wait, with hindsight, ONE had a frown on her face. The other two looked vaguely unsure and maybe a tad guilty. Undeterred I did what any professional would do. I slapped a smile on my face, thrust my hand out at the nearest person and said, "Hi, I'm Melanie and this is Andrea and Ang" Looking a bit nonplussed, they all shook hands and muttered names to me. Then the woman with the frown LAUNCHED herself at me verbally saying, "What kind of music do you intend to perform here tonight?!" I looked around at all 3 faces looking earnestly back at me and said, "Well, it's a mixture of jazz, 80's, originals etc" The woman, who we will call *Beatrice (just because it seems to suit;) stared back at me accusingly and said, "You can't sing that here!" I was STILL incredibly confused but by this stage I'd realised that she was the manager of Yomos and the guy, *Paul, was the representative of SoundCru and the woman, *Thando, was the client who had booked the venue and organised the event with SoundCru. The last two were strangely silent but Beatrice was talking at 100 words a second. "I'm afraid we can't allow that kind of music in our venue. The contract clearly states that it's only world and ethnic music allowed here." She carried on in this vein for quite some time looking at me as if to say, "How dare you bring your filthy commercial music to this hallowed place."

Can I just digress for a moment here to say: The great irony is that I would've given anything to do a live show, just with 2 guitars, and my original music! But I wasn't given that brief and this was one hour before showtime that this huge breakdown in communication had become apparent. We hadn't rehearsed anything but what we had. Please note that it wasn't SoundCru getting accused and shouted at, it was me. Paul and Thando were strangely silent. Beatrice then said she would have to go and discuss this further with someone. (Hopefully that SOMEONE was actually dressed to meet and greet clients because I don't think slops and a washed out, shapeless, obviously old, dress is a way to make an impression!...Not that she seemed perturbed about that because, did I mention that she was just a restaurant manager?) The client, a very well known insurance company in SA, had paid for the venue and were now being told, on the day of their function, that they weren't good enough for Yomos. Never mind that I was being made to feel like Britney Spears at a Metallica concert!

When Beatrice finally returned, we were all still looking bemused and shell-shocked. She told me I was to sing as much original music as possible and to ABSOLUTELY NOT do songs that anyone would know or recognise! I was also only allowed to do a maximum of 2x30min sets of my evil music lest it poison the sacred Yomos air... I've been asked by clients to do certain genres. But I've never been ordered, by the person hiring the venue, to sing songs that their client will not recognise. Beatrice stormed off and we all stood silent for a while. I'm usually an over-cautious person, but because I'd sorted out everything to my satisfaction beforehand, I hadn't brought my laptop like I usually would have. This meant that I only had the setlist that had been planned. After a bit of discussion, Ang had to get back in the car and go all the way back to the office, in rush hour traffic, to get it. The round trip took her an hour and a half during which time Andrea and I sat and did nothing.

The function started and at 5.30 I was frantically sorting my set lists out and rewriting them for Andrea and myself. People started eating and we watched longingly as platters of food wafted past our noses. It was now close to 7pm. We'd been there since 3.30pm and hadn't been fed yet. We were on at 7.15pm. Much asking of the SoundCru group had yielded answers like, "The food hasn't come yet." Pardon my ignorance but that sure resembled food...

Nonetheless, being the professionals we are, we got on stage and waved to the sound guy to stop the background music so we could start. After the 5th attempt, he finally spotted us and the show began. (Course we didn't feel awkward or anything...) People were clapping. There was a nice response and then I got to the 4th song in our repertoire. It was a very hard song to sing and required me being able to hear myself perfectly. Halfway through the song, my monitors disappeared completely. I waved frantically while trying to still perform the song, an emotional ballad that was all strings and piano. Nobody seemed to notice my distress. I then tried asking, in between singing, that my monitors be turned up, to no avail. I cupped my hand over my ear (a vocalist trick) and strained to listen and realised I'd wandered right off the key of the song because I couldn't hear the music at all. The song, which is usually a highlight in any show, fizzled out eventually and I had to stop it. They had turned the sound system completely off!

Suddenly the sound man, and another man full of self importance, were next to the stage looking at me very seriously. "You're too loud," he said. Ironically, this was the gentlest song in the entire repertoire... I looked at the sound guy and said,"If we're too loud for them, turn down the front of house, but leave my monitors please." How can I sing if I can hear nothing from any speaker? (The mains were already completely off so I had nothing to work with!) After much discussion, the very important man managed to assure the sound guy that our monitors could be up, as long as the mains were SWITCHED OFF! Pardon my ignorance, but what is the point of us doing a live show? Anyway, the show carried on and I had my monitors back so we sang as if people actually cared. After our designated 30 minutes of "non-commercial" music, we went back to our corner to find that no food had arrived yet. It was now 8pm. We hadn't eaten for at least 6 hours. Lunch was a long time ago... Ang got very irate at this point and started making demands for food. On one of her (many) trips to find food, she was waylaid by the client who told her to please disregard what Yomos manager had said. They wanted to hear 70's and 80's music!

Back to the laptop I went and reworked the set list yet again! By this stage professionalism had taken a bit of dive and we'd ordered a bottle of wine! We were due to start at 8.15pm again but at 8.05pm Paul and Thando both came and said it was time to start. I forgot all diplomacy at this juncture and said, "Please, we have to eat before we go on!" The shock! "You haven't eaten yet?!!? Well why didn't you say so?! We'll sort that out immediately!" Blank looks passed from guitarist, to singer, to manager... In the distance, we saw a waitron bearing plates! Choirs sang, drums rolled, our tummies grumbled and we dived in, shovelling it down with a minute to spare before showtime. The worst thing about eating just before you sing is the way it tends to repeat on you... (That is why I stipulate that dinner must be an hour before the show.) However, nothing about this show was going according to contract and onto the stage we jumped.

Frantic waving at the sound guy got no response so Andrea put down her guitar and walked to the sound desk and asked him to please un-mute our channels so we could start. We launched into "Walking in memphis" and people looked on appreciatively and smiled and clapped and then... the sound went off. In despair we looked at each other and Andrea put her guitar down again and walked to the sound desk. Then a group of solemn faces walked over to the stage. "You're too loud," he said. I looked at him blankly and said, "How do you expect us to perform if EVERYTHING is off?" At which point I suggested as politely as possible, that he put on a cd of world music and forget the live music. I'm not one to shirk my duty but I know when I'm beat! The decision was unanimous and we packed up our stuff and went and polished off the wine!

Paul wandered over to us eventually and shrugged and sighed and said, "What can you do?" and that was the full extent of his apology. After a bit more sighing, he wandered off. Blank looks once again passed between musician, singer and manager...

Some may wonder why he was required to apologise... well, he was the booking agent. Technically it is their job to make sure the client is well informed about everything to do with the show. The way it turned out, the musicians were made to look like the idiots who hadn't done what we were supposed to do, because we were given the wrong brief. The only ones in the spotlight, were us. There was no explanation given to the rest of the group of people. There was only one man who felt we were too loud. Everyone else was enjoying it but all they saw was us getting chased off the stage! People came to ask us afterwards because no-one understood. One guy said, "We thought you were good, even if some of the others didn't!" It had nothing to do with them not liking us and everything to do with the fact that he couldn't talk to his friends. However, our reputation definitely took a knock last night.

We did everything possible to please everyone there, right down to reworking the entire set list 4 times! But, at the end of the day, the fact is that the entertainment is at the bottom of the food chain. Everyone else was taken care of down to the last detail but no-one had thought to sort out the band properly. And the band took the blame at the end of it all. I had to swallow my pride and realise this was no reflection on me and my professionalism. It WAS a bitter pill to swallow when I realised SoundCru were not actually going to take the blame for it. I was told by the client to be more specific about what I do next time! But I had never dealt with the client until I met them last night, SoundCru had done all the dealings.

If anyone was wondering why I started Mellow Music? THIS is why. I have yet to meet a booking agency that puts their artists before their clients... And that's not good enough for me. The entertainment is the glue that holds a function together and yet they are always an afterthought. No-one remembers the chair covers after a function! They remember that they danced the night away and had a great time. They remember that the music was good, or the comedian was funny, or the dancers were brilliant. Think about how any event would be if there were dead silence throughout. Bit awkward I think...

Music is a language that everyone understands. Not everyone can do it. It's a talent that should be appreciated in any shape or form. We artists just carry on regardless but it's no wonder so many of us eventually succumb and join the 9 to 5 slog. And the greater irony is that many people think that, as an established, award winning musician, I am treated with respect. As you can see, it makes no difference what you've achieved. You may have a masters in music but you are still just part of the hired help. I'm not bitter. All I can do is laugh at the end of the day! That's what we all do.

I won't take it when it comes to my artists though. So here is a plea to all of you to send out the word. Let's make Mellow Music the top booking agency in the country so that our artists can be treated with the respect that they deserve! We have come so far in so many things. Sexism is SO last season, racism is unacceptable.

Don't you think it's time musicism got put firmly in it's place?

www.mellowmusic.co.za